Friday 13th May 2016 (12.12pm)
5/10 – If I had written my mood score earlier then it would have been lower. I am in a cant be bothered mood and haven’t been to the gym. I have had some text messages from friends which I have replied to and I have even made plans to meet up with them next week. Again, lacking inspiration so no point bumbling on.
I thought I would try and give this writing another go. This afternoon, I went to local coffee shop and finished the book which I started yesterday “Adventures in Human Being”. It is so nice to have the time and opportunity to read. I really need to make more of an effort to do it when I go back to my busy routine. Ideally I need to spend less time on the internet looking at mindless crap!
I had a lovely text from an Inspector who I have recently met and done some work with from another department. I have also been made aware of many people sending me their regards from work. I have received so much support over the last few months from unexpected people. By this I mean from people on Facebook who I have not seen for years; and also from people in work who I have not been close to over the years and just know them through the the job. It is strange how circles of friends change and I am extremely thankful and grateful of the people who I have around me. I have also made friends at David Lloyd; people who I have randomly got chatting to in the changing room or in the gym. I have opened up to some and it is surprising how many have been in a similar situation. I know that I will never have to go through this alone. It is just up to me to let people in to my life, as difficult and uncomfortable as that may be.
I received a lovely photo earlier of my mum and nephew in the park. Part of me wished I had gone but the other part shouts out for quiet time. You may argue that I have had 6 weeks of quiet time, but I have now acknowledged that this is going to be a lengthy process.
Whilst I continue to find myself on this journey, I am learning more and more about myself and depression. I know in time that I will turn this around; in the meantime it is all about finding me and becoming a stronger and better person.