Tuesday 17th May 2016 (12.25pm)

3/10 – Phone call received from work seeking my views on a possible developmental move. Whilst I do not want to move to be a Sergeant anywhere, if the opportunity for an Acting Inspector role came up somewhere then I would move, but otherwise I would like to stay put. It is difficult for me to think about work at the moment and whilst work need to know what I want to do, I do not believe that I am in the right place to make any important or informed decisions. Undoubtedly there will be conversations going on determining moves. I would like to go back to my role as it will offer consistency and continuity what with knowing the role and the people. I am interested in career development but I need to be involved in decisions. I am afraid that a wrong move somewhere could be detrimental to my wellbeing. This is something that I don’t want to worry or think about for now, but it is hard not to.

(6.55pm)

2/10 – struggling, lost mojo (whatever that is) and completely fed up. What more is there to say? I am still going over the earlier conversation with work and now feel in no hurry to go back. Today has highlighted to me that normal rational conversations which would have previously not bothered me, have today spun my head around and done me in. #mentalhealth

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