Friday 10th June 2016 (9.11am)

2/10 – Not doing too good. After I finished writing last night I deactivated my Facebook account, watched some TV and went to bed. I couldn’t sleep for a while and again I felt as if I just wanted to go out but I had no energy. I felt that I was breathing too fast and I could not settle. I set my alarm for 5am not knowing if I was going to swim or gym; when it went off I ignored it and stayed in bed. I am feeling a bit lost with myself. I have read some of my book in bed but I know it is best I make an effort to get up and head to David Lloyd to see if that helps. I do not want to speak to anyone today. I have received a ‘whats app’ message from a friend but don’t feel like replying – not yet anyway.

(12.35pm)

4/10 – I am at David Lloyd and my mood has lifted probably because I just got on the treadmill and ran like Gump for an hour. Sometimes it is exactly what I need and it is the only thing that helps. I am just having a text conversation with my mum and I said about my run and why. She mentioned about going down and I said about my isolated state, but I may do next week depending on the weather.

(5.12pm)

I am back at David Lloyd, having booked myself into spin class. I do feel tired and I have not had much too eat today. Again, I kind of feel that I do not want to eat. I had a phone call from a good friend from work. It was nice to speak to him. I am not sure if this spin class at 6pm will kill me or wake me up. The people on the table next to me are eating chips and they smell scrummy.

(8.46pm)

4/10 – Back at home now and I am glad that I went to gym as I saw a friend who I have not seen for ages. We always used to see each other when I got there after work and that is how we got chatting. She commented on how much weight I had lost. Spin class was good but I did not stay around afterwards. Euro 2016 started tonight so that will keep me occupied for the next few weeks. I will probably go swimming in the morning and then have a day off training on Sunday. I had a quick look on Facebook before deactivating my account (again) – it just annoys me, and puts me in more of mood. I do not want contact with the outside world.

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