3/10 – I decided to turn my alarm off at 2am and cancelled spin class at the same time. I have only just got out of bed. I have no motivation, I am tired and I didn’t want to get up. I feel rubbish like my head and body do not belong to each other. I have taken my new drug so I will wait and see what that does. I need to get myself ready for counselling but I don’t want to. I know there is something wrong due to not wanting to go to David Lloyd – not even for a sauna and a relax. Bad mood. Cannot be bothered.
3/10 – I am sat in Starbucks having just left counselling. I feel emotionally drained. I was going to meet up with a friend but I have literally nothing in me to give. I am glad she understands. I want to be on my own. I cannot really explain how I am feeling and I found it hard to explain to counsellor. My head is racing and will not shut up. My tolerance is low and I probably just need to sit on top of a mountain on my own and away from everything. I don’t see to be able to handle people or situations. This is possible to to a reduced dosage of previous meds before changing over? I have to go back to counselling on the 18th.
I will be doing a 8 week mindfulness course which starts at the end of August. This has been arranged though work.