Saturday 24th September 2016 (3.06pm)
I had a really good day yesterday. It started with me meeting a lady from the BBC. I was with her just over an hour and it went really well. I told her all about me, what I had been through and my level of exercise. I think it went well as she asked me if I would be ok to do a short film for her producers / directors. The programme which will be 2 x 1 hour episodes will be aired on BBC at 9pm around the time of the London marathon. I would be assigned a run coach and given a training programme. There will also be help from a therapist. A film crew would follow me around to see how I train for the marathon and deal with my mental health illness. I would need to have a fitness test and psychological test to ensure that I could cope with both the positive and negative sides of TV and media. It really does sound interesting and I would love to be a part of it with a group of other people…… However….. this will have to be agreed through work. I have messaged my line manager giving brief details asking who I would need to get permission from. My request is being considered. I see this as a positive move by saying that I am in the police and I suffer from a mental health illness. Friday mood score 7/10.
As for today, my mood has dropped to 3/10. I have not really done much as I feel depleted and I feel that I need to stop everything. I would have loved to have gone out on my bike this morning but I think I would have just collapsed (sounds dramatic I know). I couldn’t even face the gym so have ended up here in Coffee #1 in Penarth. I will see how I am tomorrow, but it is likely that I will take another day off. I need to be careful with my training this week as I have to run a half marathon next Sunday.