Thursday 13th October 2016 (7.39pm)

4/10 – I was late and tired getting in from mindfulness last night, plus fed up and in no mood to write. I have come to the conclusion that I am rubbish at mindfulness. On the way home I stopped off at Tesco and stocked up on chocolate croissants, cookies and pancakes so today I have stuffed my face. I could have stayed in bed all day eating but I had to get up as I had arranged to meet my friend who is also off work with a mental health illness.

I had a phone call from my fed rep to say that my application to stay on full pay has been rejected (no surprise). No decision has been made regarding BBC.

My mood is low and I feel lost and in limbo.

(8.27pm)

I have just looked on Twitter and it is the Police Cardiff awards ceremony. It is hard for me to see people I know getting awards. It is not because I am jealous, as I know they are well deserved. I can’t put my finger on what it is; perhaps I have subconsciously been catapulted back into the work environment which is not somewhere I want to be at the moment. Fed up.

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