Tuesday 7th February 2017 (8.54pm)
7/10 – Filming day. The BBC crew and Nick Knowles arrived at my place at around midday. It felt weird (in a good way) to have the man off the TV in my apartment. Again, another surreal but incredible moment. We chatted on camera before jumping in his car to head to Penarth Seafront. The BBC wanted to film my story about what happened on that night back in October 2016 when I stood on the beach, contemplating taking my life by walking out to sea and never returning. As soon as we got to the beach it rained but that did not stop us from filming. I had such a good chat with Nick and I found it very therapeutic being back in the very spot talking about it. Memories of that night will stay with me forever but it felt like a massive relief for me to talk it through where it happened. It felt like I had released a demon and no longer would I be haunted by it. It also made me realise how far I had come since then.
As the rain got heavier we called it a day and headed into a restaurant opposite for food; I stuffed my face with pizza! (Above picture taken afterwards).
I felt that I got a lot out of today. Once again, the support from the BBC crew and Nick was incredible. Everything was handled with sensitivity with my welfare and best interests at heart. I have no idea what, if any of today’s filming will be used. I hope so as I believe it could be quite impactful. A police officer talking about taking her own life before turning to her own force for help.