Thursday 16th February 2017 (9.09pm)

I deserve to hurt and feel pain

3/10 – Still feel rubbish and my act of self destruct is not to take my medication. I just do not want to anymore and I do not care what happens. If I relapse so be it. If it hurts me – that is what I want. I know this does not make sense but it is my way of harm – to make myself feel worse. Why? Because I deserve it.

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