Silverstone half marathon but mentally struggling

**Picture – me and my amazing coach – Chevy Rough**

Monday 13th March 2017 (7.25pm)

On Saturday I made my way to a hotel in Towcester for an overnight stay. Driving up I felt rubbish mentally. I felt sad as if the news from work last week has sucked what little life I had out of me. I arrived at the hotel at 6pm, had an early dinner (burger and chips – pre match meal) then relaxed in my room for the rest of the night.

Sunday was the day of the Silverstone half marathon. I woke up to drizzle but knew that it was going to clear up before midday. On arriving at Silverstone, I met up with the crew and got taken to the media tent. It was like being a VIP, we had our own food, drink, newspapers and toilets. It was amazing, I even met Ian Beale (Adam Woodyatt) from EastEnders. Typically I called him Ian! My interviews to camera were real as I could not hide how crap I was feeling.

Only four of us from the programme were running due to injuries and other commitments. As expected the run was flat and it felt odd running around a race track, more associated with F1. My thoughts were occupied with negativity and I could not kick what was going on in my head. I just wanted to smash the run and I reverted to my old self and wanted a good time. I finished in 1.57:32. I was 399/2391 women and 59/409 in age category. I was chuffed with this. I needed this. I needed to escape the shit that was going on around in my head.

It was lovely to catch up with everyone. It really does help me and I will miss all of this when it is over. We have another training camp on the weekend so that gives me some positive focus. At least I can hide in the bubble for the time being and escape reality.

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