Tuesday 1st August 2017 (10.34am)
2/10 – I am sat at my desk in work and I feel that I need to write this before I lose my head. I feel rubbish and I just want to go to sleep. I ‘live blogged’ yesterday after my CMHT appointment. Bottom line is that I do not want to be here. I cannot cope with the demand. Tasks which I would have usually eaten up I cannot even look at. My head is all over the place. I want to walk out. I am stressed and in a dark place. Not suicidal, just dark. This morning in the car and last night I listened to the Linkin Park song ‘Shadow of the day’ on repeat. It sums up how I am feeling. I am supposed to be here until 3pm. I am not sure how I am going to cope or get through it. Staying awake would be a bonus. I do not know why I feel so tired. I have been given a piece of work to do but I cannot get my head around it. I may come back to it later, if not I will start tomorrow.