Tuesday 8th August 2017 (10.28pm)
2/10 – I have felt incredibly low as if I am in a dark depression which I do not know how to get out of. I am convinced it comes down to the struggles I am facing with work. I cannot seem to deal with the work environment which is having a knock on effect. I have no motivation for anything, not even run club or the gym.
I had a FMA appointment this afternoon and told the Dr exactly this. We discussed whether a change of role in the organisation would be beneficial. I do not know the honest answer to this. I have an interest in the training department (the retired teacher in me) and that is the only place I can see myself going and enjoying the work at the moment.
The problem with a move now is that I am afraid it will mess up my return plan, and I am not sure if I will be able to adjust to a new management team, new colleagues and a new job role whilst my head is as it is. For now I think I will just carry on where I am. I do not think I am fit for work. I did not say this to FMA as I am trying to show some positivity. I have to return in 3 months.