Saturday 9th September 2017 (1.14pm)

*Picture from Saundersfoot triathlon*

3/10 – I am sat in Qube Restaurant in Tenby. It is the weekend of Ironman and even though my parents live in Tenby I am staying at the Giltar Hotel (where I got married). Olly is having his holiday with my parents. The reason I am staying in the hotel is because I booked in 12 months ago with the intention of doing Ironman Wales. After running London, and chucking all my efforts into running I decided to give Ironman a miss this year and go for it next instead. Whilst I am swim and bike fit, I am not to the level I would like to be. I decided to keep the room, as the hotel is right on the finish line and I wanted to feel part of the weekend.

I put out a ‘live blog’ the other day to say that I have gone off work sick. I woke up on Tuesday morning with the plan of getting ready to go to work but I could not face it. I felt awful. I had the vision in my mind of me just sitting there vacantly staring at my computer, frozen as if nothing in my body would work.

Within 5 minutes of waking up I had contacted work to say that I would not be in. I know I have made the right decision. I seem to be permanently tired with a constant headache.

A few positive things have happened this week.

  1. I have been asked to do some work around mental health and vulnerability for the College of policing.
  2. I have had a telephone conversation with Met Commander and author John Sutherland (how amazing) about writing my book. He was really supportive and helpful and has emailed me some information.
  3. Today I completed my second Saundersfoot sprint triathlon. Not sure of timings yet but not too fussed.

I feel a bit stressed and quite down.

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