Friday 10th November 2017 (11.29am)
I wanted to write last night but by the time I came around to it I could not be bothered. Yesterday was the first time I had been to see my GP in about 4 weeks. I was supposed to see her 2 weeks ago but never bothered. I thought that I was ticking along, and because I was waiting for my Consultant Psychiatrist report I decided to wait so we could discuss it. Report has not yet come through so I thought I had better touch base.
I explained that my headaches were better and there was more clarity to my thinking now that I was no longer taking the medication. My mood is still up and down, but I do not think I mentioned this. I said about my plantar fascia problem and I now have a referral to podiatry. I still have another 2 weeks left on my sick note and I have to return to see her then.
My mood was not great yesterday and I did not want to speak to or see anyone. I avoided text messages from friends and meeting up after CBT. I just did not feel sociable to talk. I said this to the counsellor when I got to CBT but as usual I never shut up. The therapy has given me new ways of thinking about ‘change’ which I am trying my best to do and to maintain. I have my 4th session next week.
Yesterday morning I went for a run. I knew that I should not have gone but at that moment I did not care what happened to my foot. I tried to ‘CBT’ myself but that did not work. I was going but I was willing to compromise on distance and speed. I ran just under 4 miles. Foot was ok running but last night it was extremely painful and every time my foot hit the floor I knew about it. I did not regret going though. I am currently sat at David Lloyd having just done my 3rd 1 mile swim of the week. I brought my PE kit to go on the Wattbike afterwards (even though Physio has now told me not to). I was adamant that I was going to go but didn’t, for no other reason than I could not be bothered.
I had a good day Wednesday afternoon. I met up with Simon who is known on social media as the Welsh triathlete and he interviewed me for his You Tube channel. We talked about Mind over Marathon, my plans for Ironman and mental health. As always talking helps and I am looking forward to seeing the finished product.