Friday 6th October 2017 (9.38pm)

When the switch goes

2/10 – Today turned out to be a real shit ass day. I had a lovely morning with Olly at the beach before dropping him off with my mum and dad. This afternoon I had a phone call from work. An example of how a simple conversation can completely shoot my mood down. There goes the switch in my head which turns from rational to irrational in a split second. This is how my personality works and how it does not adjust to certain situations or events. It is like my mental health becomes exaggerated and all I can think about at that time is to jump off a bridge or something similar.

I am writing this putting a lot of pressure through the pen. I am angry and frustrated. I have even cried. Mood is f**ked. Emotions are f**ked. My head is buzzing and I am missing Olly. I need him around. If it wasn’t for family I would seriously consider ending it. I just cannot do it. All of this because I have been thinking about work.

I rang the Psychiatry centre about the CMHT appointment I had on 31st July as I was supposed to have received a letter about the outcome of my appointment which I had not received. I was told that someone will ring me back; they never did.

I received a phone call from the Consultant Psychiatrist organised through work. I have an appointment next week.

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