** Picture taken at ‘passing out’ **
Sunday 5th November 2017 (4.36pm)
5/10 – I have plodded along this week. I have had 3 really good swim sessions, totalling 6200m. I am frustrated about not being able to bike or run. I saw the Physio yesterday and I am allowed to do 2 x 30 mins Wattbike sessions this week.
Yesterday it was 15 years since I walked through the gates of South Wales Police HQ. It only feels like yesterday, yet in other ways, there has been so much that I have seen, done and dealt with during this time. It has been an amazing 15 years with fond memories and incredible friendships created. I sit here writing this as a Detective Sergeant (having previously had a temporary promotion to Inspector). I am proud to carry the badge but question where my future now lies and if it is there doing another 15 years (plus). I do not know. Things have changed so much over the years, whilst some for the better, some I question. With numbers and resources at an all time low, I take my hat off to colleagues serving their communities under significant pressure.
For me, that pressure, along with other factors became too much. The desire to achieve the next rank and to be the best I could finally took its toll. I have no regrets about anything over the last 15 years but I now wait and see what decisions will be made (jointly) with my organisation.
As I look back on that first day, I remember nervously awaiting the welcome talk from the Chief Constable. It went along the lines of ‘If you do not want to be here, then get a job in Tesco across the road’ …. You can imagine the faces of us shiny new recruits. It must have had some impact on me though as I still remember the words to this day.
I will not go too much into joining and police stories as this will form part of the book which I have planned. I cannot give it all away in my blog now can I 🙂
Back to present day, and mentally I am doing ok. There have been thoughts of self harm but that is just in relation to the frustrations that I have with my foot. I have again thought about Flint House but I feel a consistency with my routine at the moment which I do not want to unsettle.