The road to Ironman Part II

Monday 17th September 2018 (9.56am) As the months went by I was able to tick off the events which I had planned in my calendar. First up was the Big Vitality Half marathon in London which I was invited to do. Unfortunately this did not get off to a great start as in March thick snow began too fall. Having booked my train and accommodation, I had to cancel late on due to no trains departing.  Not being the only one to be disappointed by the snow, London Marathon Events made the… Read More

The road to Ironman Part I

Thursday 13th September 2018 (11.58am) At 1911 hours on Monday 18th September 2017 I signed up for Ironman Wales. One week before I had been watching it (again) and knew that it was something that I had to do.  I sat at the kitchen table looking at the details I had filled in on the website before closing my eyes and hitting the enter button. I felt sick for having just spent over £400 on an event that was going to cause me pain and consume my life for the next 12… Read More

The blog of two questions

Monday 13th August 2018 (2.50pm) The questions I am being asked at the moment are: 1.  ’What will you do after Ironman?’ 2.  ’What is your favourite out of the three – swim, bike, run?’ Firstly, tackling question 1, my carefully considered response is ‘retire’ (again).  With less than four weeks to go until the big day I am thinking about my options. These though depend on A) surviving the event itself and B) employment status. What I do know is that my wetsuit will be left to sail into the Bristol… Read More

Today I am a Proton

Wednesday 8th August 2018 (11.44am) The last couple of weeks have not been great, hence my avoidance of any blog. I have felt that I have not had my shit together to put into context what has been going on. My mood has certainly not been as low as it has been but it is different. There are NO suicidal thoughts or urges to self harm, it is more of a deep downer compounded by what has felt like extreme fatigue. Last Monday I had an appointment at the Psych Centre where… Read More

Too many tabs open

Tuesday 24th July 2018 (2.23pm) It’s been a while since I last wrote as things have been really busy in terms of training and events. I have certainly clocked up a few miles in the pool, sea, on the bike and on my feet. I am pleased with how my training is going and the hard work is starting to show. With Ironman Wales less than 50 days away, I have a tough few weeks ahead. Physically the body is withstanding the intensity I am smashing it with (thankfully). Mentally I feel… Read More

Stuck between two worlds

Wednesday 11th July 2018 (12.16pm) Yep, that is how I feel, stuck between two worlds, between the life I once had and the future I saw, to where I am now and where I see myself going. I know I can’t turn back the clock to the past and I have no crystal ball to see what will happen. I feel that there is something stopping me from moving on and embracing the happy future which I could have. I cannot erase memories of good times and I don’t want to; yet… Read More

Part 3 – Where I am now

Monday 18th June 2018 (11.51am) I have purposely left part 3 for over a week or so I could (hopefully) report on some improvements. Are things more positive? Yes, but I feel that I still have a long way to go with it. After I wrote part 2 on Friday 8th June, things got progressively worse for me. I could not control my mood, I pushed my partner away saying that I wanted to be alone and was no good at relationships. I felt angry at myself for not being able to… Read More

Olly’s Blog

Me and my human thought that it had all been a bit serious on here lately, so to lighten the mood my human has allowed me to take part in a one off ‘blog take over’. If you didn’t know, I am Olly, and I’d like to share with you my latest holiday experiences in Tenby with the ‘Clampetts’, otherwise known as nanny and bampi. They are two old retired people who do very little exercise except go to the gym a couple of times a week, when they have the energy… Read More

Part 2 – Crisis Team and Missing Person report 

Friday 8th June 2018 (11.38am) I  am usually good at talking things out with people, but at the moment its hard, so this is the best I can manage. Putting what is scrambling around in my head onto this screen is the only thing that I can do at the moment as I sit here in yet another coffee shop pondering what the hell is going on. If I thought Part 1 was hard to write then I am in for a test with this one today. Last Thursday morning I received… Read More

Part 1 – Losing the fight

Thursday 7th June 2018 (10.47am) This past week has been extremely difficult and I have not been able to write about it until today. Even now, I am only writing because my head is busy, it feels as if there are too many plugs in sockets, everything is misfiring and the danger of this is that it will explode. I have been asked lots of questions by professionals over the last 7 days but I have felt that I do not have the words to verbally articulate. Outside of my head, I… Read More